YOU NOT EXISTING KILLS ME

I know that God has plans for all of us.

I know that.

I believe that.

I really do.

But I'm just so tired.

So very tired.

I don't want to wait around anymore.

It's not working.

Don't tell me your highs and lows.

I don't want to be the only one who listens.

I want my own story to tell.

Don't I at least deserve that?

*Shit, this post has a lot of 'I'*

I don't like it when I'm emotional.

I feel weak; I look stupid; I seem human.

I don't think you're there.

Maybe you never were. *God how depressing*

I don't think I'll ever find you.

Then I am the fool.

I want to go away.

Away from the idea of you.